Simulation
by KyonxHaruhi
Summary: Dreaming was the only thing the two of them could do, when they were oppressed by the reality around them. They realized, with a sigh, that he could never be theirs. Read and review, mild shounen-ai, or is it?


**A/N: If you're sharp, you'll notice who the narrator actually is. Anyway, enjoy this SHnY fan fic. Not very good, but enjoy.  
**

**--0--**

**/0**

He didn't expect this to happen. Not in a million years.

Koizumi's smile, seemingly for the first time since his introduction to the little group, was a true, beaming smile. There was neither a mask nor cynical sarcasm in that smile of his; it was only pure, unadulterated joy that spread throughout his features.

He was glad.

And she was, too.

**--0--**

**/1**

The morning sun is a beautiful sight, I thought.

I pedaled faster, my legs feeling no tiredness in its steps. Adrenaline seemed to take over, pumping continuously through my bloodstream and giving me the energy to rush towards the school. The uphill battle I constantly faced to make it atop the painful hill was considerably easier, which I attributed to my excitement.

When I do make it atop the hill, fatigue finally takes its toll, and I almost collapse on the sidewalk. I can feel the sweat trickling down my back, my chest, and all over my body. It is a feeling of discomfort, that odd, sticky sensation that comes with sweat, I mused. I gather myself and get up, depositing my bicycle in a secure location before I walked towards the school.

Tick…tock…tick…tock…

The clock is ticking. I am running out of time. I hurry onwards to my destination.

I wonder if he's as excited as I am?

…

…

…

The club room is the same as always, from the pilfered computers to the various costumes displayed. The tea kettle and the pouches for tea are neatly placed in a convenient corner, for easy access when we want to. There are also a stack of books by the shelves, next to the costumes, and they all contain interesting stories. I've glanced over them, actually. They aren't such a pain to read, once you get used to it.

And in a corner, staring out the window, he stands, motionless and taciturn.

"Hey."

I say to break the silence.

"…"

He does not seem to hear me.

"Hey!"

I raise my voice higher, a few octaves or so more. This catches his attention.

"Hm? Oh, Kyon-kun. You're here."

He beams at me, that sly, mysterious grin of his spreading throughout his face. I've become accustomed to that seemingly all-knowing face, and now I cannot picture a day without seeing you at least once.

"Good, I was worried you wouldn't be here," he continues, before approaching me. "I was afraid you wouldn't come…"

He wraps his arms around me and steals a kiss. My legs seem to melt before his touch.

I process the right words to say. I try to remember the correct manner, the correct words… and then it all comes to me, hitting me like a painful bolt. The words flow out of me naturally, as if they were truly mine from the start.

"Ah… Koizumi, you idiot…! Stop doing indecent things like this in public! What if Haruhi…" I voice out in protest. His reply is to kiss me even further.

"Haruhi be damned," he snarls afterwards, drawing back to breathe. "I don't care about her feelings, not now, not ever. You're the only thing I care about."

He delivers it so seriously that I cannot help but laugh.

"Ha, ha, ha!"

"Hm, why are you laughing?"

His eyes turn serious. He stops what he was doing and looks at me intently, that cheery smile of his melting into a serious, hear-piercing gaze.

I gather the proper words to say, and adopt the proper tone.

"Because… hearing you right now, I can't believe you're Koizumi."

That's right. I always associated Koizumi with the word "ass kisser," especially when Haruhi was involved. If that nauseating way he adhered to all of Haruhi's whims wasn't enough to merit the name, his overly dramatic support of Haruhi did. To see him like this is like seeing another side to the man; or rather, it was like I was seeing his true side. Have I gained access to his soul?

"Hm, I suppose you are right."

He turns silent for a while.

"It is because… as you may have guessed, I have to lie continuously about my feelings."

The data is insufficient. Gathering more… ah!

I nod. I have heard this already from him. I do not need to listen anymore. I place my hand over Koizumi's mouth and stop him from speaking any further.

"Say no more. I understand." I tell him. "Forget about her. Forget about your 'Organization', forget Mori-san and Arakawa-san, forget Kimidori Emiri-senpai, forget Tsuruya-san, forget Asahina-san, forget about the SOS Brigade — forget about everyone else. We're the only ones that matter here."

My words seem to make him happy. He looks at me, and says:

"Thank you. You don't know how glad I am to hear that."

I chuckle. I reach for him again and kiss him forcefully to return the favor he gave me.

I search for the suitable emotion for this situation. It is something data cannot handle immediately. I… I… I search for this word, this powerful word, and suddenly it rolls of my tongue effortlessly.

"I love you, you know that?"

I tell him. He smiles at my remark.

"I know. I love you too."

He grabs me forcefully, pinning me against the wall. He leans into my ear and whispers sweet nothings repeatedly. I reply in the only way I could.

I could only hope this moment lasts… forever… f-f-forever

_Error. Error._

Hope this moment lasts…

_N-ngg..._

Hope…moment… lasts…

_F-fade t-t-o b-b-b-lack..._

H-hope…

Everything disappears.

**--0--**

**/2**

"End simulation."

Her monotonous voice breaks Koizumi out of his trance. He stands up, glancing at his surroundings. It is still the same club room, with the same equipment and the same paraphernalia. The only thing different is that there is one girl here with him, and not Kyon.

The girl looks at him with those inquisitive eyes, those eyes that seemingly scanned everything about his body. The gaze she throws makes me feel like she's stripping me naked, Koizumi thought. He laughed the thought aside and stood up, savoring the memories of the past few moments.

Then he remembers that those were merely his fantasies, and he sighs. He feels a crushing sense of defeat.

"Oh… it's over…?"

His voice is seemingly full of regret. He sighs. They were just getting to the good part, he thought.

"Affirmative."

The girl with glasses said. Her cool, emotionless eyes tremble for a moment. But her answer is as swift and brutal as ever. Ever the silent and unmoving girl, she was. Emotionless and quiet to the end. However, she has more to say.

"I am sorry. I was unable to handle the mass influx of data. I could not continue imitating Kyon any more."

Her apology is delivered in monotone too, Koizumi thought. But it is very sincere.

"Ha, ha. I don't mind. I'm already asking too much from you, asking you to act out this fantasy of mine."

She blinks. She only looks at Koizumi expectantly.

"Ha… I'm messed up, aren't I? I resort to these kinds of things to fulfill my urges. I'm really sorry, Nagato-san. I'm sorry I dragged you into all of this. I should have done something about this on my own."

He apologizes, bowing in front of the bespectacled girl who was now carrying a large, leather-bound book. She intends to read it later.

Nagato Yuki, who had never experienced something like this before, who only had her books and the data she receives as a source of information could only reply:

"U-understood."

A single moment of hesitation, that's all it was.

"Oh, and as for your pay…" Koizumi says. He winks at Nagato, and the girl approaches him. She looks almost shy and unsure of herself. For a moment she seems only a human girl, and not an entity sent to do a thankless task.

"You and I, Nagato-san, we are very much the same…" Koizumi tells her. "We both long for someone cannot get…"

Nagato could only agree.

"And now, it's time I repay you," Koizumi whispers silently in her ears. He grabs her, almost brusquely, and it is all sweet for now.

**--0--**

**/3**

Lying on her back was nice. But being on top was nice, too.

**--0--**

A/N: So did you enjoy? It's the first fanfic I wrote in a long while, so I expect it to suck. What do you think? Please leave a review!  



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